AuntTeeTee

My good news came first…..HIP HOPS ABS CAME! I was so walking on cloud 9…ready to get home, cook dinner and then dance my bootay off.

Then my daughter calls….says she thinks her water is leaking. I’m at work so I call my mom and she agrees to take her to her OB. Everything was fine…still dilated to less than 1cm. So thats good. Mom bought her something to eat and took her back home.

Yesterday my mom tells me she & my stepdad are going to stay together…more good news BUT then tells me that my stepdad is sick. I ask her if it is serious..she says yes but doesnt want to talk about it over the phone. Today she tells me my stepdad has an inoperable brain stem tumor. OMG…while I was on the phone with my mom I could feel the lump coming up in my throat & the tears burning my eyes but i didnt cry until I hung up…….it was about that time my daughter called to ask me something. I didnt tell her why I was crying..just that we would talk about it later. 2 minutes later my mom calls back wanting to know why I upset my daughter..OH COME ON MOM…Sam has been my stepdad for 16 years…not to mention the fact that he has been my friend. She says dont cry..be strong…I am a strong person but you just dropped a bomb on me.  I love my stepdad and I will keep a stiff upper lip for his sake & in front on the family BUT I am upset..I can cry when I want.

So I dont know…its one of those days you wish you could rewrite…

What the heck takes so long? Ok perhaps a little impatience on my end.  I realize it take time to get a package from Florida to my little ol town in Texas. *grins* I am just ready to try something new. Get some motivation..get my dance on. lol

Not much is going on around my house..my daughter has lost her mucus plug so its just a matter of time before we have Isabella in the world melting everyone’s hearts. I am so ready to be a grandma!

The man is trying to stop drinking,so I am just hanging in to see what happens. He has been really strange for days but not overbearing…just bordering on annoying.

Work is going ok…still havent found out about the new job just yet…we have 2 people out this week. So I assume with all that going on, they can’t afford for me not to be at work.

Everything is good in Sabian’s little teenager world. I even let her spend the night at a friends’ house on a school night last night. SHOCK! She went to see the Michael Jackson movies This Is It…she said it was awesome!

I think I have been around to everyone’s pages already today, so if you blogged since then, I may have time to get back around. We’ll see…HAVE AN AWESOME AFTERNOON/EVENING/NIGHT!

I decided to give Hip Hop Abs a try. I like to dance and from watching snippets of the videos, it looks like a lot of fun. I have several different types of workout DVDs…from pilates to yoga…walk off the lbs to buns of steel…I think I have pretty much bought em all. lol Except any type of dance. So I ordered it off of Amazon and got 6 discs for $35. Thats really good considering I went to the actual hip hop abs website,which is a part of Beachbody,and there it was like 2 discs for $60. My youngest wants to do it with me. She’s a dance-aholic too.

Anyone else tried it???

I am working all weekend. Not doing anything for Halloween. I think my youngest is going to the movies and then to a few places with some of her friends. The oldest will chill at home with me. There’s not much going on at my house. I have attempted to get along with you know who…..he cant make up his mind what he is doing..saying..etc…

Everything with me is just kinda up in the air. I may be changing jobs within the company. They are looking at moving me back into coding,but the catch is I will be coding for 2 hospitals. They will of course raise my pay & pay me .55 cents a mile. Its worth it. I am just waiting to find out on Monday.

Both of the girls are doing well. Ariel has to stay off her feet for the most part now to keep her ankles & feet from swelling. I told her yesterday,”isnt being pregnant fun?” LOL

Sabian is now in all Pre-AP classes. AP is advanced placement. They have this in junior high to get you ready for AP classes in high school. She was so excited when she found out!

As far as weight loss goes, I lost 1 lb this week. I honestly think I blew it yesterday. I had a good week…great with exericse & eating. Then yesterday it was like someone pressed my I’M SO HUNGRY button. I ate candy with my co-worker….I had M&Ms last night….I had homemade taco salad…no sour cream, but we make it with Doritos and lots of cheese…then at lunch I had fries. it was just a bad day. I didnt get to exercise last night. I got in bed late. SO today I am starting it off much better. I made sure I packed only healthy snacks and lots of water. I ordered a salad with grilled chicken for lunch. I cant let one day get me down because it will turn into 2 days…3…4..5.. Gotta keep going!!!

I hope everyone has a safe & happy Halloween. I’m off to read some bloggies.

The glory of being on my treadmill…its the most wonderful place I know right now. Instead of eating when I shouldnt, I go have a walk & a talk with my treadmill. I have it set up right in front of my big screen TV outside. The TV is in the garage and my treadmill faces it. So I can watch CSI or the Biggest Loser while I walk. Watching TV keeps me from looking at the timer. I know if I stay on for a whole episode of CSI, thats an hour.

I am still having issues with the man. I dont think it can be helped. We agreed to get a divorce and he would move out because he makes wayyyy more money than me. He changed his mind..he would rather me move out. Fine..whatever. So last night he harrassed me every second I was awake pretty much. I tried to jump on the trusty treadmill..who comes outside…yep he did. Ok first of all its not like I dont spend alot of time on the treadmill as it is…..BUT he picks last night to run me into the ground. He taunts me saying..”you better run more cause your next man will want you to have a nice round a$$”……then I say please please leave me alone I need to lose weight. To which he answers…”oh hey what type of man are you looking for?”   I had enough…I got a whole 30 minutes on the treadmill..most of that before he realized I wasnt sitting in the house. *sighs* wow this is what he has resorted to. I tried saying THIS DOES NOT MAKE ME LIKE YOU! He ignored me. I slept on the couch..again.

On a good note…my daughter’s baby shower went very well. She got lots of stuff and we are still trying to find a place to put it all. lol I took her to meet her future mother in law after the shower. Her car is in the shop and she couldnt find a ride. She is very nice. I like her. She crocheted some stuff for the baby and brought back all the stuff my daughter’s fiancee bought. (she recently visited him at the Army base in Georgia) Everything they made or bought was pink & camo. lol

My youngest is doing great! But ready to move away from her dad….so sad….

She will be the lead in her school play about drugs this week. They have what they call red ribbon week. Its dedicated to educating kids about the dangers of drugs & alcohol. She has her lines down perfectly and the part really fits her personality.

I didnt lose anything this past week but I did maintain.

I guess thats about it. ) I hope everyone has a wonderful Monday!

This week has been pretty hectic for me. Ariel went into labor but they stopped it because she is only 32 weeks. Dehydrated..bladder infection…most likely the causes but they dont feel like she will make it til December because the baby is so low & putting so much pressure on her. She was already dilated..not quite to 1. She finally let me take a couple of pics…

Isnt she cute?!

I went to the doctor and he suggested I try some OTC Zantac or Pepcid before he puts me on anything. He did however give me a prescription for Xanax. He gave me the lowest dose they make. I haven’t taken any yet. Just been toughing it out. I tried talking to hubby last night & the night before about my emotional eating & my ulcers. He acted like this was the first time I mentioned it. (oh & he says he isnt moving now) I dont think he understood. I have never been overweight in my life…until I married him and all the crap started. Even with my thyroid issues I managed to keep it in check. He yelled at me & said I was avoiding him because I went to the treadmill instead of eating. I usually try to get on the treadmill way before he gets home. He expects me to shower with him..go to bed when he does…sit with him the whole time he is home yet he wants his lunch made & his tea containers filled. I dont know what to do with him. I love him but I am tired. Tired of him drinking every single day. The more he drinks, the more of an a** he becomes. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to drag his body into the house or how many times he fell asleep outside. He hasn’t done those things recently but it sticks in my mind…ya know waiting for the next time. He is rude to my oldest….always bringing up things she has done..teenager things..but wont let it go.

Sorry I’m rambling but this is what I deal with everyday……..

I want to thank everyone for all your advice, comfort and support. I still feel off,but I am trying one day at a time to deal with what’s going on.

My husband & I have decided not to stay together. Its impossible to get along for even a minute at my house. He will be the one leaving and as he says, “I’m just looking for which direction I am going.” We have had problems the entire time we have been married. Its a long story but lets just say he married me for convenience not for love. He didnt decide he actually gave a sh*t until 5-6 years after we got married. I wish I would’ve known 15 years ago. So right now I am sleeping on one of the couches and let him have the bedroom.

I had to take Ariel to the emergency room 2 nights ago. She had told me earlier in the day that her stomach was hurting,but thats just one of those things I thought. By the time I got home at 730, she was crying. she said it was just getting worse & worse,so I took her in. She is doing ok…was dehydrated. The pain she is feeling is because the baby has already dropped into her pelvis and is riding low for only being 31 weeks. She isnt sleeping because of the pain. And all I can do is give her Tylenol and she can take warm baths.

Sabian is great! she went to homecoming with her friends and a boy. Her friend Amanda’s mom made a mum for her. Then she gets to the dance and the boy had brought her one too. She is the one in the middle.

I am going to the doctor tomorrow for my thyroid checkup and I am going to talk to him about all my stress/depression too. I am hoping it will pass on its own. I dont need yet another pill.

I don’t know…I don’t feel like me. I’ve always had duck feathers. I let everything roll off of me like it wasn’t a big deal…..Now everything hits me like a ton of bricks. I don’t feel like doing anything. I don’t even really feel like coming here..No offense..its just the truth. I feel like I am dragging myself from one place to another. I found out I have 17 ulcers in my stomach..big shocker there…stress galore. I wanna go home & sleep. Pretend like nothing is happening.  I am still exercising…I cried the whole time I was walking yesterday. I don’t know why….I just feel like my world is caving in  and I am somewhere in it drowning.

I am so depressed. I dont know what to do. Honestly I have never been what I call depressed. There has never been anything I couldnt drag myself out of….until now. I tried spending some time with hubby this weekend since I was off for 3 days. It made things worse. He just wanted me to play babysitter to his 3 yr old niece. I love her,dont get me wrong, its not her. I tried talking to him. He couldnt say anything nice to me or the kids while they were around. All he could do is say how he wants a military style house (he was never in the military) and how me & the kids dont make the house perfect. *sighs* I have done everything I know how to do besides allowing myself to be a doormat,which I think I have at times already…..what now?

There is nothing that can drag you out of a slump like weight loss!!

I LOST 4 LBS THIS WEEK!!! I’m doing my happy dance! hehehehe

Sabian is much better. Her medicine is working great! poor thing has been so bored. She is ready to get back to school.

Ariel is just heavy..I dont know how else to put that. She is a little over 30 weeks pregnant….tired..grumpy…lol..So she is getting some babying from me too.

Hubby is still being an a**hole. It isnt his job. He is being put back in the pre-fabrication position that makes a great deal of money,so he is elated. I dont understand whats going  on. He gets mad at me if I stay  up late with my daughters on my days off. It seems like everything I do is wrong. *sighs* but I am not going to let him drag me down this weekend. Its my first weekend off in 3 weeks and I am going to enjoy it!!!

I tried calling Sabian’s doctor to get her an appt for an hour & a half & never got to talk to anybody. Lucky me, working at the hospital has its advantages. I took her into my ER and had her seen. Unfortunately she has the shingles. I am sure most of you know what this is. When you have the chicken pox as a child, as it heals, the virus travels down your nerves to the nerve root and stays there. Most of the time it lies dormant and you would never know. However if it comes back, it comes back as shingles. Looking at it, it seems way worse than any chicken pox case I have ever seen. At least with the chicken pox its spots here & there. The shingles are blisters on top of blisters in huge sections. She has it all up her left arm, under her arm pit and on the left hand side of her back. According to the doctor, shingles typically infect people over 50 years old. My poor 13 year old is the exception. She has been in so much pain because it is right at the nerve roots. She is on 2 medications plus me putting calamine lotion on all of it. She is out of school for the entire week because she is contagious. We are keeping her away from her sister. The doctor said he preferred that Ariel go stay with a grandparent or something but we cant do that right now because my mom & step dad are fighting alot. So we have to seriously limit the girls contact with each other. Its been exhausting.

My hubby & I have done nothing but fight for days. Right now he thinks nothing I do is right..nothing I make for dinner is good enough..blah blah blah….So I have been sleeping on the couch.

Right now I am depressed but trying to make it through.